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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Letter to Nita (Unsent)

You and Brad deserve a nice vacation. Y’all have been givers for years to your parents, certainly much more than us. You are generous to share the vacation with us.

Not everyone has the personality, circumstances, or aptitude to accomplish as much as everyone else. I feel I must explain the mindset we use in making decisions on how we spend our time. I realize some have a hard time reading an entire email, or listening & comprehending an entire conversation...myself included.

Working & commuting takes up 12 hours of my day. Ceil could spend much more time teaching our 3 children, as well as preparing to teach. Every Sunday Ceil uses half the day to prepare lesson plans for the week ahead. Eating healthy meals is another priority, which takes more time and money. These are the priorities we have set. Our children are a tremendous help with the cooking and chores. They are involved in far fewer activities than their friends. Will takes classes at Living Science and plays baseball. Anna takes ballet. Matthew does the least…he only plays baseball half the year, due to how busy we already are & lack of money (that’s why they don’t take violin).

We are far from a perfect family…we know have many faults. We could use more time to spend with our children, on school and at play. We could spend a lot more time with friends and serving in ministry. There’s always work needed on the house and cars. Obviously it would be nice to get down to Macon more. I could manage my time better, but I’m not wasting four hour chunks of time…we don’t see many movies or watch lots of TV.

Recently I worked in Orlando for two weeks. My drive down and back was paid for, as were my hotel and meals. Couldn’t have been a more opportune time for Ceil and the kids to come down to Disney, but the list of things already going on was so great that they didn’t go. Same with PGA golf passes. Would’ve loved to go…so would Ceil and Will. Two passes were used, but it didn’t work out for us.

It’d be great to attend all the Georgia Tech, Braves, Falcons, and soccer games we’re offered tickets to. There are so many festivals, events, concerts, movies, etc. in Atlanta and North Georgia that would be great as well. There are also dozens of ministry opportunities at churches in the area. Most often we have a conflict. Even when we don’t, the fact that we’re away the day before and/or after factors in…it’s hard to enjoy an event if the attendee hasn’t rested up from the last event. I can count on my fingers the things I get to do in a year. Though never easy, we say no.

These days there are dozens of trips kids can take. Beach trips, Disney trips, ski retreats, DiscipleNow weekends, sports camps, even baseball lock-ins! Busy parents are willing to pay big bucks to drop their kids off for weeks at a time. This year alone Will has been to New York, Washington DC, Jekyll Island, Myrtle Beach, Lake Burton (twice)…and 14 major league sporting events. When can a kid go to a Florida island? Kids today do so much, have so much…these camps and retreats and lock-ins are no longer wide-eyed adventures. Instead it’s just another day of entertainment they come to expect. Ride the Pink Pig? Big deal, they say…give me Goliath. Exactly what we’re trying to avoid with our children. Instead let them entertain themselves, play outside, read books. A hard task in this age of instant entertainment. Kids want, need grownups to spend time with them, not entertainment.

Two select East Cobb baseball teams are currently recruiting Will to play next spring. They’ll play 60 games in less than 4 months. One team has offered to pay his way. As Stuart will tell you, the higher level of competition is needed for Will to improve, if he wants to play at the high school level, let alone college. But we are not ready as a family to invest 4 hours a day for 4 or 5 days a week to Will’s baseball, as nice as it would be. Does a 13-year old need to spend 20 hours/week on one extracurricular activity? Would he still like baseball in two years? If God wants Will to be a baseball player, God must have another way.

Joyful holidays like Christmas bring added expectations for time and expenditure. Events last the entire month and take time away from the regular stuff that must be done, in addition to decorating and shopping. Party-goers we are not…we usually attend only one or two Christmas parties at most. Many years we are so overwhelmed we don’t send out Christmas cards. We do travel to Jefferson, but not for any extended stay. We never go early because we’re still making Christmas preparations, and after Christmas I have to return to work. Our children have fun at Christmas, but Ceil and I are stressed and overextended. It should not be this way.

Novelist John Grisham wrote a little book called “Skipping Christmas.” Family, neighbors, friends, and co-workers were amazed when a couple decides to go away for Christmas. It was made into the movie “Christmas With the Kranks”…dealing with the gyrations people go through during the holidays.

The stress and activity increase the closer Christmas Eve comes. Ceil’s schedule is more flexible than mine, so the brunt of this stress and activity fall on her. I work until 5 pm on Friday December 22nd…I’ve used all my vacation days. Atlanta traffic is bad every day, particularly Friday. December Fridays are the worst…parties, shopping, everyone leaving town. I’ll get home at six. Even if our 7-year old van was packed and filled with gas, the earliest we could traverse the 385 miles and arrive on St. George Island would be 2 am. Whoever drives will be worn out. Saturday would be fun, but an 8 hour return trip is not a fun Christmas Eve…and Ceil and I would just be starting our Christmas duties. Anyway, could mom make the trip?

A trip to a Florida island sounds wonderful. But not so fast. One day of fun and two days of packing, unpacking, and over 18 hours of travel…during the most stressful weekend of the year. $85.00 in gas for a day at the beach.

What is the wise thing to do?

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