Dealing In Stolen Goods

Late Sunday night I took the van up to BP for gas. As usual, I spent the time while the tank was filling cleaning trash out of the car. When I went to the trash can, I noticed a pair of shoes had recently been thrown away. As a lover of shoes, this was too good. There wasn’t anyone around, but I didn’t want to look like the dumpster diver I was to any passersby. I quickly retrieved them, tossing them into the open rear door of the car without inspection. But I could tell they were big, but nearly new.

On the way home I checked them out. Huge…Size 16! White Nike Huarache high-top basketball shoes, with royal trim. Just a few slightly noticeable scuff marks, and just a little dirt in the bottom treads. Not new enough to swap out at a store like Rugged Warehouse. Too big for Willis Norman, but maybe Matthew Leiner can wear them. Or David Bartlett. Or I could sell them on Craig’s List. There aren’t many size 16 guys out there, but I could still get 25 or thirty bucks real quick.

At Monday’s mugging I considered putting them in a bag and presenting them to tiny Charles Norman, challenging him to aspire to large things.

Then it hit me…these shoes were probably stolen. Thoughts of Cam Newton’s laptop ran through my mind.

Do things like this only happen to me?