LAST PLACE!

After losing last week, Joel tried to find a new lucky shirt. I wore the same shirt. Based on our performance, perhaps I should have as well.

1. LANGUAGE: In prayer, what final word means “so be it” in Hebrew? Easy...Amen. Five points.

2. FAMOUS PEOPLE: What is the title of the spiritual leader of Tibet? I was pretty sure it was the Dahlia lama, so we only wagered one point.

3. AMERICA: Which is the flattest state? Joel thought…Kansas? Wyoming? I thought “Wyoming?” I knew: Florida. Three points. For the record, Joel was only half crazy…Kansas is second flattest.

4. ALCOHOL: What is the profession of Captain Henry Morgan? Either pirate or ship captain. We guessed wrong…he was a pirate. I should’ve given more effort. But why is HE being attacked in the commercial? A three point miss.

5. POT POURI: Which two countries share the most frequently crossed border in the world? We had to choose between Mexico or Canada. Guessing Canada, we went for it, wagering five points. It was Mexico, of course.

6. MOVIES: Which actor is the voice of woody, the cowboy doll in Toy Story? Tom Hanks, of course. One lousy point. Toy Story is Erin’s favorite Disney movie.

7. SPORTS: President George W Bush was the owner of what professional sports team? The Texas Rangers.

8. HISTORY: What two word term stands for the time after the fall of the Roman Empire, but before the beginning of the Renaissance? The Dark Ages (or the Middle Ages). Three points.

9. AMERICA: Which letter is the first letter of the most states? Will and Joel started listing…more M’s than A’s. That’s what we turned in. Then they starting listing the N’s. Wait! Will run up and changed to N. As it turned out, there are eight M’s AND N’s. Three points.

10. CAPITALS: Name the capital: Greece (Athens), Indonesia (Jakarta), Panama (Panama City), Venezuela (Caracas), Columbia (Bogota). We got three of five, for six points. Missing out on eight first round points really hurt. Our 25 points were twelve behind Bama’s perfect score. Four teams were one point back with 36. Even last week’s losers, Team Frickin Awful, were ahead of us.

11. TELEVISION: What song was the subject of a Saturday Night Live skit, pleading for “more cowbell”? Classic skit, starring Christopher Walken. But I didn’t remember the song. Joel did: Blue Oyster Cult’s “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” Six points.

12. MUSIC: In 2000, what rapper survived being shot nine times? Joel knew: 50 Cent. Joel was six years old in 2000. Four points.

13. FAMOUS PEOPLE: In 1998, what 73 year-old actor became president of the National Rifle Association? I knew: Charlton Heston. Two points. Three straight second-round correct answers. Joel wondered: Can we come back? I wondered: Did Joel just jinx us?

14. GEOGRAPHY: What Chinese River was named for the color of its silt? Not sure, I answered the Ganges, wagering only two points. It was the Yellow River.

15. BUSINESS: In 2002, what related business did eBay purchase? We didn’t know. PayPal crossed my mind, but it seemed newer than 2002, so I didn’t add it to the discussion. A four point miss. I chided Joel for knowing what rapper was shot in 200, without knowing eBay bought PayPal.

16. NATURE: What is the most visited US National Park? We listed several, and answered Yellowstone. It was The Great Smokey Mountains National Park. A six point miss.

17. SPORTS: What is the team mascot of the University of Chicago? I answered Bulldogs. It was the Maroons, or the Phoenix. Another two point miss.

18. COFFEE: Per capita, what is the top coffee-drinking nation? We guessed Brazil. It was Finland, Several similar European countries rounded out the top ten. Another four point miss.

19. MUSIC: What hit Michael Jackson song does Rihanna sample in her hit song “Please Don’t Stop the Music”? We could only guess. Most of the high school kids knew: “Wanna Be Startin Something” Our sixth straight miss. Sure enough, going to the final question, we were tied for last place…25 points behind the Floppy Fishes.

20. STATES: Based on total average temperature, name the five warmest US states, in order. We guessed Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Florida, and Hawaii, but only got the last two right. We missed Louisiana, Texas, and Georgia. Sure enough, we tied for last place, with 43 points. The Floppy Fish won, with 68.

Erin must’ve had a rough Valentine’s Day, since her musical theme was “Love Stinks.” She spun several classics, including: Michael Jackson’s Billie Jean, Clash’s Should I Stay (or Should I Go), Kelly Clarkston’s Since You’ve Been Gone, La Rous’ Bulletproof, Bill Withers Ain’t No Sunshine (When She’s Gone), Hit the Road Jack, Heartbreak Hotel, This is How I Fell, Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?, Tainted Love, Say My Name, Someone I Used to Know, and Billy Joel’s Jealousy. When Erin played Nancy Sinatra’s These Boots Are Made For Walkin, I joked to her “this song was popular when I was your age.” Her face lit up as she said “Have you seen the video? They weren’t wearing pants!”

On the way home I had to pick up some milk at the Stinky Kroger. What song blared over the PA? Love Stinks. It was that kind of night.