As I’ve said before, back in there day there weren’t any Dad Jokes. There were just jokes. Used to be kids would tell jokes to each other, but I guess nowadays kids just look at their phones. So instead corny jokes are called Dad Jokes. I hate that name.
These days it’s a game for two people to tell each other jokes without laughing – you laugh, you lose. The Braves did it last year. Here are some jokes Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell told each other.
What soap do Mermaids wash their fins with? Tide
In King Arthur’s time one of the knights of the round table collected taxes. His name was Sir Charge.
Did you hear Steve Harvey and his wife got into a fight?
It was a Family Feud.
It was a Family Feud.
Did you hear about the superhero with a lisp who always worked out?
He’s Thor
He’s Thor
What kind of car does an egg drive? A Yolksvagen.
What do you call the syrup with a speech impediment? Mrs. Stuttersworth.
What airline did Mary and Joseph take? Virgin
What is the most crunk place to go to the bathroom? The Lil Jon
If spaghetti made an action movie what would it be called
Mission Im-Pasta-ble.
Mission Im-Pasta-ble.
What is a foot’s favorite chip? Dor-i-Toes.
If Steven Seagal removed all animal products from his diet, what would we call him? Vegan Segall
What kind of shoes do gophers wear? Wood Chucks
What did the plumber say to the singer? Nice pipes!
What did the fried rice say to the shrimp? Don’t wok away from me.
What do you call someone who gets mad when they run out of bread?
Lack Toast Intolerant.
Lack Toast Intolerant.
What do you call a lazy doctor? Dr. Do Little.
On average an American uses three covers on their bed,
but that’s a blanket statement.
but that’s a blanket statement.
Where is the best place to grow a chef? Bakersfield
What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Santa? Egg Nog-Stick.
What is Starbucks favorite city? Fort Latte-dale
Why did the salad go to the studio? To get some beets.
What did the pot eat on its birthday? Pancakes
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