The Squirrel Hunter

Years and years ago either Steve Norman or Fred O used to tell this squirrel hunting story.

One day I went out squirrel hunting.

Was out in the woods all day, but didn’t see nary a squirrel.

A complete shutout. Zero. I trudged back to my car in defeat.

Tired, hungry, and thirsty.

Just as I was leaving the woods I crossed paths with this big old ugly guy.

Probably the ugliest guy I’d ever seen.

He had killed so many squirrels that they were just draped all over them.  

I said “Hey, where’d you find all those squirrels?

I’ve been hunting all day and I never even SAW a squirrel.

What’s your secret?

The guy stopped to answer. What’s my secret?

Well, you probably noticed that I’m not exactly the best-looking guy around.

Yes, I answered, in fact you’re downright the ugliest guy I’ve ever seen.

He nodded and continued Well that’s my secret to squirrel hunting…

…I just ugly them to death. I just look at them, and they die.

In fact, I don’t even have to look at them. If they see me, it kills them.

Just then a squirrel fell out of a nearby tree and hit the ground – dead.

We hadn’t even seen it.

That’s amazing, I said. Well let me ask you one more question, if you don’t mind.

What’s an ugly guy like you do for companionship? Are you lonely?

No, he replied, I am married. And yes, before you ask, she’s as ugly as me.

 Well why don’t you bring your wife out here squirrel hunting?
Something y’all could do together, and you could get twice as many squirrels.

The man looked at me and shook his head.

“Can’t bring her out here. She tears them up too bad”.

This weekend’s games… 

730 Thursday Georgia Southern @ Appalachian State

1200 #5 Georgia @ Miss State

400 Georgia State @ Coastal Carolina

730 LSU @ #4 Alabama

730 FSU @ Clemson

730 Navy @ #10 Notre Dame

930 am Sunday Falcons vs Colts in Germany

Bye week: Marist, Georgia Tech, South Carolina, Texas

Coaching changes: lots of crazy boosters at Auburn = too much pressure. I also heard last week that Penn State may be interested in Key. Might have affected the players against NC State ??? Every year the national media over-hypes Penn State, thinking they will be one of the best teams in the country. Then when Penn State loses to Michigan and Ohio State etc the head coach is blamed, when it was the media that brought on the high expectations.

Kinda like what the media did to Arch Manning, hyping him up to be a Heisman candidate and top draft choice when he hadn’t even played much. Not sure what will happen. Will Lane Kiffin stay at Ole Miss? Or go to Florida or LSU ???

Basketball: heard that Maryland Eastern Shore took Tech into overtime. The Jackets almost lost. Could be a long year.

I haven’t been excited about any of the books that I’ve been reading. Was able to finish Half Time by Bob Buford and Brave New World, a dystopian novel written by Aldous Huxley back in the 1930’s. Many parallels to present day. Just checked out Gwyneth: The Biography, by Amy Odell.

Usually small group is good. Just checked and Chris’s house is about one mile away from my house. Dan is a spiritual machine. Amazing. John H went to Tech about the same time as me, has a deep understanding of the scriptures, a low key, fun guy. Knows the Condras. David C is a hardworking gentle giant, a GE engineer and member of the Georgia national guard. New Christian John R raises chickens, and works hard to learn the Scripture. And all of us have numerous serious issues we’re each facing. Can go late but its almost always a good time. Good deep educational studies in Genesis.