The Courage to be Known, a discussion by author Curt Thompson of Alexandria VA, speaking at JFBC in late January. Thompson wrote The Anatomy of the Soul and The Soul of Shame.
Satan uses shame to defeat us.
John 9 the disciples assume sin is the reason the man is blind, either his sin or his parents sin. Instead the man was born blind in order to glorify God. So we too can glorify God in our weakness. We erroneously think God will use our strengths. God doesn’t ask our permission to use us. He wants to work through us.
The man had been cast out of his community. Jesus went back to look for him. Having sight brings the need for a new life – what do I do now that I can see? In fact the community was corporately blind. Like our country today – it promotes blindness and shame – loving to isolate those who disagree.
Can you think clearly? We need a healer, a minister who can come find me in my shame. In what part of my life has sin taken up residence? What is the forbidden substance I am not tackling in that part of my life?
Jesus heals intimately – up close. Sometimes it is uncomfortable. Healing comes with side effects. Not just good news.
Children develop shame at 15 months old, listening to the tone of voice. The brain doesn’t pay attention to “just say no to drugs” – a different part of the brain wants drugs. Our inner dialog gets so rote that we eventually don’t need words to tell us “there’s something wrong with me.”
John 21 seven disciples on the beach. Peter denied Jesus. Thomas doubted Jesus. Nathaniel, James, & John. Also two unnamed disciples. Shame reminds us that we are not known at all, or that we’re known for something bad. Peter returned to his old life. Evil does not go away quietly or easily. We don’t want to deal with the bad. We’d rather ignore it. I am not okay – that is what shame says, even when we return to what is familiar, to what I am comfortable with. I can’t get away with what’s wrong with me.
Jesus: “I see you haven’t caught any fish.” So often we deal in scarcity. Jesus sees us in our defeat and shame and offers a hand to get out. “Cast your net on the other side.” Suddenly scarcity becomes plenty.
Jesus made them breakfast. Who’s making breakfast for me? We need someone to make us breakfast and talk to us and set us straight. Jesus talks to Peter about his old self. Jesus wants to take away our shame. “Do you love me?” Peter was grieved in his heart. We make up stories and “facts” – this is how we make sense of our past. We hide. Our shame is revealed only if someone comes to find it. Jesus may want to have the conversation publicly. The other disciples there also felt shame. Jesus wanted to deal with it all.
If Peter had really loved Jesus he wouldn’t have denied Jesus. We still feel shame even when we ask others for forgiveness. Shame lingers and we must deal with it. Who do I have that will set me free? Jesus says “feed my sheep.” He has work for us to do. Love with vulnerability. We are broken bowls, welded back together with gold. God has more for us to do than just go back to what’s comfortable.
The resurrection should impact our lives more than it does. Why would Jesus ask me “do you love me?” What is the next beautiful thing that God is wanting to create through me?
No comments:
Post a Comment