Amazing Similarities

Back in the late 1970’s Second Ponce initiated an “Adopt a College Student” program. I think it was Edie’s idea. The Whitakers adopted me. I never heard of any other college student who got adopted. Kinda fishy. The Whitakers would have me over for dinner. From time to time I would house sit. 

Little Claire called me her big brother. Once her concerned teacher called Edie. Claire had drawn a family portrait: mom, dad, Lang, and - another big brother? Edie had to explain. 

To take this family thing a bit further: my “sister” Claire married Andrew, whose cousin Caroline was best friends with my daughter Anna - so they too are “related”. I was sitting with Anna and Caroline on a school trip when we made the connection. They never forgot. 

But over 25 years of swapping emails, I’ve realized just how alike Reid and I are. It’s not like I set out to become like him, we just have a lot of things in common. 

We’re both dreamers. We have active imaginations, which we used to fuel our pastimes. Reid would invent games, I might research statistics to compare two athletes. 

We’re both scorekeepers. We like to score games and keep track of things. He scored basketball games for Marist. I scored my son’s basketball games. We both make lists of things we’ve done, places we’ve been. 

We’re both artistic. Reid would draw amazing sunset pictures with colored pictures. He'd fold paper and cut out intricate snowflake like designs. He'd mail me one or two each time he sent me other things. Ceil would see an envelope from Reid when she got the mail, and open it herself to see what treasures were inside. I’d draw football and baseball players, helmets, jet fighters, and rocket ships. 

We both like to read. We both loved John Grisham. 

Of course we both love sports. 

We’re devoted to our laptops. We’d rather send both check all sorts of information. Look up stats, which we can use to dive down rabbit’s holes and other daydreams. We’d rather send an email than a text message. I know that I need to get with the times. There are reasons I like emails. Writing helps me figure out what I think and how I feel about things. I can go back and edit sentences to get the thoughts just right in my head. Pecking out the words on my phone is much slower, but it actually helps me to get the words down in an even better way. That’s actually how I wrote most of this essay. 

We both enjoy a good meal. Reid’s palate is more varied, as I like to stick to my favorites. But I’d rather sit down and eat at a restaurant than take it home to eat. 

We’re both safe drivers. In general. We’re not speed demons. We don’t take chances or take out of the way routes. 

We both like to go to the gym. Reid walked at the SPdL FLC pretty much ever since it opened. If I think I’ll just work out at home or hit the streets for a run, there’s less of a chance I’ll get it done than if I make the short drive over to the gym. And I’ve been walking more than I’ve run. I like those studies that say walking is better. 

We have the same personality type. Kind of type B. We defer to others. Sometimes this makes us sad when we feel like we’re forgotten. 

Since I’ve retired, I seem to have fallen into several of the same routines that Reid follows. I like to jot down notes and lists. I needed some 3x5 cards and started using more and more of them. One day I thought: hey, this is what Reid uses. 

We both love God. We love good preaching. We take sermon notes. We both enjoyed singing in the choir. For several years we sang in the same choir together. We both favor traditional hymns and worship services over today’s more contemporary services. I guess we’re both old school. 

We both met our wives through church. We both love our wives and family. 

Sure, I have other longtime friends - fun, good strong Christian men who I enjoy spending time with. But really none do I have so much in common than with Reid. 

How in the world can you replace such a bosom buddy? I’m not sure. A young friend once advised me to “play it forward” - to become the older Reid person to a younger version of me. As always, I need to deepen my relationships with my kids. But one thing’s certain: going forward my life without Reid will never be the same.