Tricks to read people’s body language, another article by Travis Bradberry on LinkedIn. It’s not that I consider Bradberry to be any kind of guru. Just another blowhard trying to make you think like he does, so you’ll buy what he’s selling. His information is just readily available, periodically invading my in box every week or two.
Body language provides information on what others are thinking – if you know what to look for. You already pick up on more cues than you’re consciously aware of. Research shows that only 7% of communication is based on the actual words we say. Tone of voice is 38% and the remaining 55% from body language. Learning how to become aware of and to interpret that 55% can give you a leg up on other people. Watch for these cues:
Crossed arms and legs signal resistance to your ideas – even if they’re smiling and engaged. They signal a person is mentally, emotionally, and physically blocked off from what’s in front of them. It’s not intentional, which is why it’s so revealing.
Real smiles crinkle the eyes. The mouth can lie but the eyes can’t. People often smile to hide what they’re thinking and feeling, so look for the crinkles. If they’re not there, the smile is hiding something.
Copying your body language is a good thing. Even notice someone doing this? It’s a good sign, done unconsciously when we feel a bond with the other person. It’s a sign the conversation is going well and the other party is receptive to your message. Especially useful in negotiations, as it shows what the other person is really thinking about the deal.
Posture tells the story. Have you ever seen a person walk into a room, and immediately you have known that they are in charge? This effect often includes erect posture, gestures made with the palms facing down, and open and expansive gestures. The brain is hardwired to equate power with the amount of space people take up. Standing up straight with your shoulders back is a power position. Maintaining good posture commands respect and promotes engagement.
Slouching is a sign of disrespect. It communicates that you are bored and wish you were somewhere else. Slouching projects less power.
Watching the clock while talking to someone is a clear sign of disrespect, impatience, and inflated ego.
Fidgeting with your hair signals that you’re anxious, over-energized, self-conscious, and distracted. People will perceive you as overly concerned with your appearance, and not concerned enough with your career.
Scowling (or having a generally unhappy expression) sends the message that you’re upset with those around you – even if they have nothing to do with you mood. It turns people away. Smiles suggests you are open, trustworthy, confident, and friendly.
Weak handshakes signal you lack authority and confidence. Too strong of a handshake can be perceived as an aggressive attempt at domination. Make sure it’s always firm.
Close talkers signal they have no respect for personal space, and will make people feel uncomfortable.
Avoiding eye contact makes it look like you have something to hide, or a lack of confidence and interest. Whereas eye contact communicates confidence, leadership, strength, and intelligence.
Eye contact that’s too intense may be perceived as aggressive or an attempt to dominate. The way we break eye contact also sends a message: glancing down communicates submission, while looking to the side projects confidence.
Eyes that lie. It’s common knowledge that it’s tough to hold someone’s gaze when you’re lying to them, so people will deliberately hold eye contact to cover up a lie. But most over compensate and hold eye contact to the point that it feels uncomfortable. If someone’s stare makes you squirm – especially if they’re still and unblinking – something is up and they might be lying to you.
Raised eyebrows signal discomfort. Three emotions make your eyebrows go up: surprise, worry, and fear. If someone you’re talking to raises their eyebrows, but the topic isn’t surprising, worrisome, or fearful, there is something else going on.
Exaggerated nodding signals anxiety about approval. They are worried about what you think of them, or that you doubt their ability to follow your instructions. Exaggerated gestures can imply you are stretching the truth.
A clinched jaw signals stress. Also a tightened neck or furrowed brow. Regardless of what they’re saying, these are signs of considerable discomfort. Perhaps the conversation is something they’re anxious about – or their mind is elsewhere and they’re focused on the thing that’s stressing them out. Watch for a mismatch between what the person says and what their tense body language is telling you.
Inconsistency between your words and facial expression causes people to sense something isn’t right, and they begin to suspect you’re trying to deceive them.
Turning yourself away from others (or not leaning into your conversation) portrays you as unengaged, uninterested, uncomfortable, or distrustful of the speaker. Try leaning towards the speaker and tilt your head slightly.
I get it now. On LinkedIn you can click a button to write your own article. Might have to try it sometime.
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