Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Letter to Mom

Wrote this a couple of weeks ago after my sister brought it to a boil, and involved me. I'm posting it now because it's something I need to deal with every day...

I shouldn’t put this in writing, because it is never understood the way the writer wants it to be understood. But I never feel like I ever get my point completely across in any conversation, not particularly with you, but anyone…my boss, someone I’m trying to teach something to, etc.

People hear a little and think they have understood the point that is trying to be made, and they quit listening. I'm as guity as anyone.

I’m not sure Nita bringing this up is the best thing. She may be right, but being right isn’t always the best thing. She is most certainly bringing it up because she loves you and our entire family. She has to be strong just to bring it up…she is a much stronger person than me. To let it go is being weak, and it is weak to argue back. So I suppose I have to mail this to be strong and not weak!

Like I had said, I have the same problem. I try to be helpful, but I come across as being mad and mean…because of my tone of voice. Instead of helping and building up, I hurt and tear down instead. I did ok today, because I’ve been here at work all day. Yesterday was a different story.

It’s not that some people don’t want “helpful advice”. But no one enjoys someone speaking to them in a loud, demanding voice.

I've learned in the past couple of years that much more important than the quality of the gravy is the quality of the relationship you have with the person who is making the gravy.

I can get so frustrated with Will when he is helping me, and I “instruct” him in a loud and negative voice. Why would he want to hang around me to learn and finish the job? There is nothing wrong with him, only with me.

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. No one wants to drink vinegar.

Oh, that you would bless me indeed, & enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me,& that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain! I Chronicles 4:10

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