Saturday, December 10, 2016

Leno on Fallon

On October 31st Jay Leno was on the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Leno subbed in for Jimmy halfway through the monologue, so I watched it on Hulu and took notes. Leno told the classic old story of buying her mother a VCR when they just came out. He has also been guest-starring as a mechanic on Last Man Standing with Tim Allen and Nancy Travis, and a new season of Leno’s Garage has started on MSNBC.  
It’s a shame Halloween has become so over-commercialized. People have completely forgotten about Satan’s role in the holiday.
On Halloween police asked stores to not sell eggs or shaving crème to teenagers. You can tell which stores complied: they were covered in eggs and shaving crème.
Hillary got a scare this Halloween. She opened the door to find a kid in a lie detector costume. While campaigning she visited a kindergarten and taught them computer skills – especially the all-important DELETE key.
When kids screamed “trick or treat” at Mar Largo, Trump shows them - he declared bankruptcy. New York is suing Trump University for not being a real college. The lawsuit said students paid tuition but didn’t get an education or jobs. Sounds like a real university to me!
Over 21 million votes were cast early this year. These people just wanted to get the election over with.
At the recent Republican National Convention several of the speakers all had something in common: Rudy Gulliani had three wives. Newt Gingrich had three wives. Donald Trump had three wives. The only one with just one wife was Mitt Romney – and he’s the Mormon!
The economy is so bad:
In Milwaukee two men were arrested for joining ISIS. They were just trying to find jobs!

Of the 400 richest Americans – 200 have moved back in with their parents.
In LA young starlets are using the sun to get a tan.
In LA young starlets are marrying for love.
Pat Sajak had to take out a loan to buy a vowel (an old joke).
People were huddling around exploding Samsung phones just for the warmth!

No comments: