R.I.P. Mare

My GT BSU friend Mary Deaton passed away last Saturday, from pancreatic cancer. She had experienced pain in her abdomen and got it checked out: stage 4 cancer. She tried chemotherapy, but it was hard due to the constant pain. Friends from church ministered to her, and her brother helped out. Then her brother’s wife died unexpectedly. Mary went to hospice, and passed away last Saturday. Hers was an obituary of a servant.

Back in the late 70’s / early 80’s the Atlanta Rhythm Section had the hit song “Imaginary Lovers”. Mary called me her imaginary brother. She grew up on a farm out in the country near Buford, and was country strong. In her spare time Mary would knit. She knitted a gold scarf for Fred O, and a scarf for Jeff Yearwood with YEAR on one end and WOOD on the other. Mine had CRAZY on one end, and DAVE on the other. I still have the scarf Mary knitted for me, and I wore it to her funeral.

One day Mary ran up to me and exclaimed “Hey Murf, let’s swallow a goldfish to raise money for summer missions!” Doug Kleppin drew a huge banner inspired by the JAWS movie poster, with my open mouthed, mustashioed face with an innocent goldfish inside. During a Thursday night BSU meeting Mary picked up her goldfish (named Sparky) and swallowed it like an aspirin. I tried to be more theatrical, dragging it out, holding my goldfish (named Fireball) over my mouth. People thought I was having second thoughts, but I swallowed it without problem. How many people can say they’ve swallowed a goldfish?

We both were fans of a popular comedian of the time, named Steve Martin. Sitting around the Baptist Center one day out of the blue we reinacted Steve’s famous “Turtle Boy” skit, where Martin wears his girlfriend’s dress in the big turtle rodeo. Knowing Mary had a spare dress wadded up in her oversized purse, I started the skit. Mary played along, asking me to wear a personal item in the big rodeo. I agreed, thinking it would be a pin or scarf. On que Mary pulled out her dress for me to wear.

Mary was a devoted Tech fan. We’d both sit in the BSU section at Tech football games, and make up cheers that didn’t include cuss words. We’d attend the statewide BSU conventions in spring and fall, and join in the late night group likes around the lake to see the eagle. After graduation in the age before social media we fell out of touch, but exchanged Christmas cards for years. Ten or 15 years ago we drove down together to an event at the Tech BSU. It would be the last time I saw Mary.

Mary lived her best life. Was certified as a pilot. Got a second degree in 1990. Hiked in national parks. Biked for hundreds of miles.

Retired before turning 60, then lived a life of service. Joined the Southern Baptist Emergency Response Team. Taught Sunday School. Delivered meals. Rescued dogs. So much more.

Sharon (above) and I drove over for the funeral today. A great tribute to her lifetime of service. Met her brother Jimmy. Introduced myself as Dave Murphy. Jimmy's face lit up: "Ah, Murf! Mary spoke of you often!" Goodness. Was I worthy of such talk? Had I been as good a friend to Mary? I don't see how I could. Saw former GT BSUers Charles and Tricia Bolian, older than me, contemporaries of Fred O and Steve Norman. Tricia was Mary's cousin. The Bolians had attended Bogan Road Batist when Fred pastored, with Don & Donna Lott. We went over to the Lott's house afterwards. 

Her obituary:

Mary Deaton, of Athens, Georgia, died on February 10, 2024, from pancreatic cancer. She was born on February 4, 1957. She is survived by her brother Jimmy Deaton, nephew Ben (Gina) Deaton, and Ben’s children Norah, Asher, and Margaret. Mary is preceded in death by her parents, Hugh and Clarice Martin Deaton and Jimmy’s wife, Wanda.

Mary was raised on a small farm near Buford and graduated from North Gwinnett High School in 1975. She earned a Bachelor of Industrial Engineering degree in 1979 and Bachelor of Mechanical Engineering degree in 1990, both from Georgia Tech. She lived in Athens GA, Milledgeville, GA, Florence, SC, Chapel Hill, NC, and eventually returned to Athens where she resided for the last 26 years. Mary was a highly regarded manufacturing engineer and retired from Eaton Corporation in 2015.

Her rural upbringing instilled a deep appreciation for nature and sparked interest in hobbies like gardening, extensive bird feeding, hiking, bicycling, and travel to State and National Parks. Throughout her life she rescued several dogs and cats with her most recent rescue being her beloved Great Pyrenees mix, Pepper. She had a passion for genealogy and was the family historian. Mary was a private pilot and made her first solo flight on October 21, 1986, in a Cessna 152. She would later obtain an Instrument Rating.

Mary was active in Beech Haven Church where she was co-teacher for the adult ladies Sunday morning group and enjoyed helping with vacation Bible School and neighborhood mission projects. Mary actively volunteered participating in activities through Georgia Baptist Disaster Relief, weekly backpack deliveries with the Food2Kids program, weekly distributions with the Mobile Food Pantry for the Northeast Georgia Food Bank and was a lifelong blood donor.

The family will receive visitors from 5:00 – 8:00 pm on Thursday, February 15 at Lord and Stephens Funeral Home in Athens and from 12:00 – 3:00 pm on Saturday, February 17 at Hamilton Mill Memorial Chapel with a funeral service to follow at 3:00 pm at Hamilton Mill Memorial Chapel. Dr. Stewart Simms and Rev. John Walker will officiate. Interment will follow in the cemetery of Zion Hill Baptist Church, Buford.

Mary Deaton will be missed. For her funeral she requested the old Pat Terry song “I Can’t Wait to See Jesus”. 

Just as the lightning comes from the East,

And flashes even to the West;

So shall the coming of the Son of Man be.

So put on your Sunday best,

Put on your Sunday best.

I can't wait to see Jesus;

In His glory as He bursts from the sky.

I can't wait to be held in His arms;

And see the glimmer in His eyes.

Tell me, how it's gonna be;

Read it from the Bible again.

I can't wait to see Jesus;

Cause Jesus is coming again.

I can't wait to hear trumpets;

Cause I know what they mean when they sound.

I can't wait to cast off my burden;

And feel my feet leave the ground.

I can't wait to see Heaven;

And to walk those streets of gold.

I can't wait to check into my mansion;

And get my sleeping bag unrolled.