Closer Than A Brother

The men’s dinner Thursday night didn’t start until seven, so I worked until 5:30, then stopped by Dollar Tree and Goodwill on the way.

I spoke to Scott Condra and David Hall before the meal. After being in a Sunday School class for the parents of high schoolers for several years, the Condras are trying to find a new class. They’re currently attending a class with my friends Lee and Shawn, who were also at the dinner. The Johnson Ferry dining hall was packed with almost 400 men for the dinner: BBQ, macaroni & cheese, vegetables, and salad, with Duck Donuts for dessert.

I sat with friends from my class: Reid, David, Dan, Robert, Jamie, Jim, Emory, and Jamie’s son-in-law Dave. The speaker spoke on men seeking deeper friendships. A couple of times during his talk we’d have discussion times at the table. Some notes:

1. Target: to be known and trusted. Men often discuss theoretical ideas and surface issues but rarely real life events and needs. To develop deeper relationships don’t be afraid to ask someone for help.

2. Vulnerability: be a humble initiator and share common challenges. As a busy adult, asking other guys to spend time together is harder than in our younger days, but keep trying. You’d be surprised at how many guys are facing similar hardships. At our table we discussed what we shared in the small groups we are in, and came up with some good questions to ask every week.

3. Safety: work harder to love charitably than posturing to be liked. Let other guys know that they belong.

I John 4:18-19: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”

4. Purpose: investing deeply in kingdom capital. Jesus spoke to the masses and healed the sick, but poured his life into the 12 disciples, focusing in particular on Peter, James, and John. So we should focus on having just a few close friendships. Don’t be afraid to develop a close friendship with a non-Christian.

Jesus said in John 13: 34-35: “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Like climbing Mount Everest, your group of close friends is a base camp for your relational mission. Go out and do hard stuff relationally, and return back to the safety of your good friends to share stories.

Proverbs 18:24: “A man who has many friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Here is the video.

Books mentioned or used (JFBC doesn't endorse all of the views/writing of all of these resources):

• Culture Code by Dan Coyle (secular leadership - Safety, Vulnerability, Purpose)
• Billy No Mates by Max Dickens, a British comedian.
• Bowling Alone by Robert Putnam (secular): notice these days there are far fewer bowling leagues and Elks Clubs, etc where men gather. Instead men stay home and stare at screens.  
• The Connected Life by Todd Hall ("loving charitably")
• The Cure by Trueface - a Christian organization helping to create high trust relationships - the mask concept. Great resources at www.trueface.org to help deepen relationships. Also other books recommended by Adam Grant:

When my Sunday School class started breaking into small groups every Sunday to discuss, it wasn’t my favorite. It’s better now. Instead of sharing prayer requests with the entire class, each week we do “care through prayer” where each person pairs up with one other person, men with men and women with women. For 5-10 minutes of sharing requests and prayer. It really helps people get to know each other.

Will does a lot of “coaching” when he watches games on TV. I did just a little bit in a few recent college football games. Man I do spend too much time staring at my phone. Maybe I can do better (less) this year.

When rookie of the year Steve Sax visited Square Pegs, he gave Weemawee Clipper Johnny Slash some tips, while young Sarah Jessica Parker looks on.

SAL BANDO  [SABR Bio] was the second AL third baseman to hit 200 career home runs. Bando’s lifetime total of 242 HRs trails only Brooks Robinson’s 268. In four separate seasons he had a higher WAR than his league’s MVP. Bando’s WAR exceeded the AL MVP’s WAR in:

1969 – His 8.3 topped Harmon Killebrew’s 6.1;

1970 – His 6.2 topped Boog Powell’s 5.1;

1974 – His 4.9 topped Jeff Burroughs’ 3.6;

1976 – His 5.8 topped Thurman Munson’s 5.3.

In 1969, manager Hank Bauer named the 25-year old Bando Oakland’s only official captain. Sal debuted with the A’s franchise when they were in Kansas City. Bando trailed only teammate Vida Blue in the 1971 AL MVP Voting. Over one 5-year span, his cumulative WAR was the highest in the majors. From 1969 through 1973, Bando’s 33.6 WAR was better than even those Joe Morgan, Johnny Bench, Reggie Jackson & Pete Rose. Lured by normally tight-fisted Oakland owner Charles O. Finley’s promise to pay $300 to any of his players who grew a mustache, Bando and all 24 of his teammates took advantage of the offer and grew one in celebration of “Mustache Day”, 18-June-1972.

Two great UGA WR's: Gene Washington (above), and former Lanier Poets standout Rex Putnal, who averaged 26.4 yards per catch in 1972 - and caught the game-winning TD in the Gator Bowl.

Move Conference tickets go on sales at noon on Monday Jan 30th.