Tuesday, November 05, 2013

TV Shows w/ Obamacare Plotlines

According to this Associated Press story, a grant is being provided to Hollywood to insert Affordable Care Act propaganda into the plotlines of television shows and movies.    http://www.wgem.com/story/23868167/hollywood-targeted-to-give-health-care-law-a-boost#.UnfhZ4T54IA.facebook

Great idea. In general I try to stay unbiased on the internet (and not mean) but this was too fun to pass up. This would be funnier if I knew more about Obamacare (and current TV shows).

Perhaps some of these plotlines could be used:

Seinfeld: Jerry, Elaine, George, and Kramer stand in line at the doctor’s office the entire episode. George thinks their afternoon would make a great pilot episode for a sitcom. Elaine has a meltdown, screams at nurses behind the desk. Kramer gets paid for standing in line for others, though one time the line moved quicker than he planned and he gets a mammogram. George meets a girl, but she dumps him after breaking in line. Later Jerry’s comedy routine is about standing in line.   

Seinfeld: Kramer gets job going door-to-door enforcing Obamacare. Turns George in for not signing up. George goes to jail. At the office, Peterman raises health insurance rates. Elaine organizes a revolt, but her only follower is the creepy guy who wants a date with her (guest star Rob Schneider).

Duck Dynasty: Uncle Si refused treatment due to his old age. Si dies. At funeral Phil speaks out against Obamacare. Without Si the ratings plummet. Show cancelled.

60 Minutes: Reporters try to sign on for insurance on line, but fail. Investigative reports show Obamacare to be a complete failure. Anther segment reveals that Andy Rooney still receives Social Security and food stamps - and voted for Obama in the last election - despite passing away two days BEFORE the 2012 election. Administration forces CBS to cancel show after 45 years.

Star Trek: Black hole sends Enterprise back to 2013. Spock scans United States and determines Affordable Care Act to be “illogical.” Dr. McCoy quits medical profession, claiming to be “just an old country doctor.” Kirk confronts President Obama, which leads to fisticuffs. Kirk is defeated when Obama doesn’t fight fair. Chekov, Sulu, Worf, Data, and Chewbacca sign up for ACA without any problems.

Jeopardy: All questions about Obamacare. Contestants don’t know the answers, leading to record low scores. Ratings plummet. Show cancelled.

Family Ties: Alex P. Keaton now has his own show on Fox News. Parents Elyse and Steven, now empty-nesters, quit their jobs and invest life-savings in the health food store they always dreamed of running. Unfortunately they have to cut back their employees’ work hours to part time to avoid paying for health insurance. Ashamed, the Keatons close the store in disgrace. Mallory is married to Skippy, who is now a doctor struggling to earn a living under the new ACA guidelines. To Alex’s horror, younger sister Jennifer takes a job as a White House intern.   

Last Man Standing: Since sitcoms are mostly watched by working-class Democrats, show loses audience due to Tim Allen’s weekly Tea Party-slanted monologues. Production stops when Allen disappears. Early reports indicate foul play. Official FBI report claims Allen lost at sea. Show cancelled.      

Saturday Night Live: No programming changes needed.

All in the Family: Entire family excited with Affordable Care Act. Meathead gets government job signing people up for food stamps and is exempt from Obamacare. Archie doesn’t like this. He goes off to work, expecting Edith to register on line while he’s gone. When she reports the true cost – and that she was unable to sign up – Archie goes on one of his tirades. Disillusioned, Meathead quits job and registers for food stamps himself. Archie has heart attack. meathead attempts mouth-to-mouth. Archie can’t get transplant, and dies. Ratings plummet. Show cancelled.     

Two and a Half Men: Alan asks out government door to door worker, but she leaves him after Alan signs up for Obamacare despite not have an income to pay for it. He loves shopping with the food stamps, bringing home wine, shrimp, and other delicacies. Walden warns Alan that he won’t get away with it. Lyndsey likes the new Alan, until she discovers his scam. Walden feels guilty. The government paid him billions for creating the original ACA website. When the government calls in the military to enforce ACA, soldier Jake leads his father away at gunpoint. Ratings plummet. Show cancelled.    

Big Bang Theory: Raj has no problem signing up for Obamacare, since he is not a US citizen. Government hires Leonard to fix the Obamacare website. Halfway through the project Sheldon sees how bad ACA is, and takes it upon himself to revise it. New website includes cat icon that plays Penny singing “Soft Kitty.” Penny becomes famous actress, moves out of apartment building. This depresses Leonard. ACA website runs even slower. Ratings plummet. Show cancelled.      

2 Broke Girls: Max and Caroline sign up for Obamacare but struggle to make the monthly payment on their low waitress salary. Max protests as only she can, but later disappears. Caroline gets a new roommate, played by Michelle Obama. First Lady changes diner menu to vegan. Later shows panned by critics for being unrealistic. Ratings plummet. Show cancelled.   

Monk: Adrian refuses to register due to his fear of germs. Monk turns the tables on government workers knocking on his door, sneaking out the back. During Presidential visit to San Francisco Monk points out all the lies. Monk seen being ushered off by Secret Security. Series tries to continue with episodes centered on Stottlemeyer. Ratings plummet. Show cancelled.     

White Collar: Tasked with tracking down Obamacare scofflaws, FBI special agent Peter Burke repeatedly closes in on law-breakers, only to see them slip through his fingers – thanks to Neal Caffrey’s “help.” Repeating sub-plot has Mozzie fighting Obamacare maze to get a heart transplant. Every week he faces a new hurdle. Cliffhanger: will he ever get it?

Dallas: Cause of JR’s death revealed – new ACA website prescribed incorrect drugs. Cliff Barnes elected as ineffective Republican congressman.  

Real Housewives of Atlanta: Government tells Kim Zolciak to quit having babies. New episodes show current cast members discussing ways to increase government assistance and food stamp allotments, as well as how to get additional free cell phones. Ratings skyrocket. NeNe elected to Congress. Reruns air on PBS as educational programs.

Psych: Shawn and Gus investigate a series of murders. All turn out to be Republicans speaking out against Obamacare. Search leads them to the White House, where Shawn’s senses detect demonic activity.

CNN: No programming changes needed.

West Wing: Despite protests by Josh and Toby, after Leo dies from slow treatment, in a rage President Bartlet overturns Obamacare and outlaws abortion – thanks to Martin Sheen’s critically panned screenplay. Episode is never aired.

RESULT: With so many hit shows suddenly cancelled, the TV networks lose billions. Government nationalizes all media: television, movies, radio, newspapers, the internet. Only government approved storylines broadcast. TV manufacturers forced to remove the OFF button from their devices.

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